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Hello and welcome to My Country Lane:) Here are some funny jokes I recieved through email through a friend. I do not take any credit for any of these jokes and got permission from sender to post them on this site.


Here are some very funny jokes :) Enjoy!!

Joke #1

THE "PREDICTED" TOP TEN MOST IRONIC CELEBRITY DEATHS: 10) Ellen DeGeneres - Suffocates in the closet 9) Susan Lucci -Trips, breaks her neck while running up steps to accept anEmmy 8) Jenny McCarthy - Struck by a random thought 7) Frank Sinatra - Killed by Strangers In The Night6) RuPaul - Prostate Cancer 5) O.J. Simpson - Murdered by the "Real Killer" in an apparent suicide 4) Madonna - Exposure 3) Unibomber - Mail bomb returned due to "insufficient postage" 2) Al Gore - Dutch Elm Disease and the "Predicted" NUMBER ONE MOST IRONIC CELEBRITY DEATH1) Bill Gates - Falls out of a Window!

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Joke #2

The Zoo>>One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his>office.> The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime>accepts.> So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.> At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction.> Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says,> "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"

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Joke #3

A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon passing the entrance test, St. Peter says "I'm not very busy today, why don't you let me show you around?" The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights, the golf course, the reading room and library, the observation room, the cafeteria and finally, they come to a HUGE room full of clocks.The guy asks, "What's up with these clocks?" St. Peter explains, "Everyone on earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left on earth. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the Gates to be judged." The guy thinks this makes sense but notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. He asks why is that? St. Peter explains, "Every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds his clock."This also makes sense, so the guy takes one last look around the room before leaving and notices one clock in the center of the ceiling. On this clock, both hands are spinning at an unbelievable rate. So he asks, "What's the story with that clock?" "Oh, that," St. Peter replies, "That's Bill Clinton's clock. We decided to use it as a fan."

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Joke Page 3

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