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Hello and welcome to My Country Lane:) Here are some funny jokes I recieved through email through a friend. I do not take any credit for any of these jokes and got permission from sender to post them on this site.


Here are some very funny jokes :) Enjoy!!

Joke #1

As you have children, you should appreciate this - The other night my three-year old son and I had been through the regular nightly routine: story, prayer, hugs. Then as my hand slide down the light switch, "I want a gink." He can't say "drink" and I thought it was kinda' cute, "gink." But, I was firm. "You just had a drink when you brushed your teeth. Now it's time to go to sleep. At last the kids were all in bed. Peace. Silence. I sat in the best chair and begin to sort through the mail. "I want a gink!" from the darkness. "Gink" lost some of its cuteness."No water! Go to sleep!" Quietness reigned for at least 60 seconds. "Daddy, I want a gink.""Be quiet." "I want a gink." I knew how Moses felt in the wilderness with a million Jews all crying, "We want a gink." Gink was no longer cute. I yelled down the hallway into the darkness, "If I hear you ask for a gink one more time, if I hear one sound from you, I'm gonna come down there and spank you and I'm not kidding. Now be quiet and go to sleep!" It was as quiet as a tomb, not a sound. You could have heard a pin drop. It was so silent I couldn't concentrate on the mail. Then the still small voice of a child who smelled victory. "Daddy, when you come in here to spank me could you bring me a gink of water?" You can't keep a good man down! Dr. John Maxwell

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Joke #2

In case of emergency, May God's word be our FIRM FOUNDATION!> * EMERGENCY PHONE NUMBERS> > * When in sorrow, call John 14 * When men fail you, call Psalm 27 * If you want to be fruitful, call John 15 * When you have sinned, call Psalm 51 * When you worry, call Matthew 6:19-34. * When you are in danger, call Psalm 91. * When God seems far away, call Psalm 139. * When your faith needs stirring, call Hebrews 11. * When you are lonely and fearful, call Psalm 23. * When you grow bitter and critical, call 1 Cor. 13. * For Paul's secret to happiness, call Col. 3:12-17. * For idea of Christianity, call 1 Cor. 5:15-19. * When you feel down and out, call Romans 8:31-39. * When you want peace and rest, call Matt. 11:25-30. * When the world seems bigger than God, call Psalm 90. * When you want Christian assurance, call Romans 8:1-30. * When you leave home for labor or travel, call Psalm 121. * When your prayers grow narrow or selfish, call Psalm 67. * For a great invention/opportunity, call Isaiah 55. * When you want courage for a task, call Joshua 1. * How to get along with fellowmen, call Romans 12. * When you think of investments/returns, call Mark 10. * If you are depressed, call Psalm 27. * If your pocketbook is empty, call Psalm 37. * If you are loosing confidence in people, call 1 Cor. 13. * If people seem unkind, call John 15. * If discouraged about your work, call Psalm 126. * If you find the world growing small, and yourself great, call Psalm> 19.> Emergency numbers may be dialed direct. No operator assistance is necessary. All lines are open to Heaven 24 hours a day! Feed your faith, and doubt will starve to death!

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Joke #3

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. = The bus driver said "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." = In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an = aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed = she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver = insulted me" she fumed. The man sympathized and said, = "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult = passengers. "You're right" she said. "I think I'll go = back up there and give him a piece of my mind." "Well that's a = good idea" the man said. "Here let me hold your = monkey"!

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Joke Page 2

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